we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
