Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
