I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
