Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
