some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
