making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
