its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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