i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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