also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
