Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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