used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
