somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
