When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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