David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
