Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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