i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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