Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
