So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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