So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
