i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
