So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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