Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was confusing and full of hummus
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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