she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
