there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
