no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I didn't notice because vodka
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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