I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
