Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
