She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
