Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
