Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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