Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
