I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
