It's Friday. Sex?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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