That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
