Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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