? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
