I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
