She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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