Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
