I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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