watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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