HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
