...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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