My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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