I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
