come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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