Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
