Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
