I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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