This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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