You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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